A very good friend of mine says that grief is the price that people pay for loving others. The textbook definition of grief is deep sorrow especially that caused by someone’s death.
It’s important to recognize that grief is not limited to death and dying, any loss can be grieved: separation and divorce, unemployment, a loss of friendship, even time.
People often minimize the significance of friendships, as strong relationships and when they end, there are big emotions. Grief can be a complicated emotion and impacts individuals differently.
The important thing to remember is that no one can tell you how to grieve because it’s personal. No two people will grieve the same exact way, however,
there are stages of grief:
- Shock – This is the initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
- Denial – Trying to avoid the inevitable
- Anger – Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotions
- Bargaining – Seeking in vain to find a way out.
- Depression – Final realization of the inevitable.
- Testing – Seeking realistic solutions.
- Acceptance – Finally finding the way forward.
Understand that these stages do not flow in order from one to seven. It is possible to bounce around the stages and even double back to a previous stage.
Give yourself patience and grace and permission to feel what you feel as grief doesn’t have a specific time frame or end. Please note that acceptance doesn’t mean ‘over,’ it means finding ways to cope, to avoid being stuck.
Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting, so honor your memories and find creative ways to honor your feelings. Sometimes we have to grieve the life that we thought we’d have, in order to make space for the one that we’re given.
We offer mental health services designed to assist and provide a safe space– whether it is individual counseling, depression counseling, mood disorders, or grief and loss, we are prepared to guide you through it all.
Yolanda Harris, MA, LSW, LPC
Mental Health therapist, The Village of Healing Center
